15: .+: 。(⊙.⊙(☉̃ₒ☉)⊙.⊙) 。:+.
In Moe’s books in Berkeley, a few months into this project, a small volume seeming to shimmer with preternatural significance caught my eye. A string of O’s along the spine. On the front cover it said:
A room that isn't. A room
that wasn't. On the top floor.
City? A big one.
Maybe in the Eighties. It
could be Berlin, East Berlin
in the early Eighties.
Summer or early autumn or
late spring. My view is that
of a baby lying on the floor.
Through the window I can
only see the still sky. Is it
afternoon? It is quiet.
Through my tiny body, I can
feel the Earth turning, very,
very slowly.
And I know everything has
started this very moment.
But I was not there. I was
not yet.
and on the back cover it said:
I was not yet. And I was not
there. But I know everything
has started in this moment.
Very, very slowly. Through my
tiny body, I can feel the Earth
turning. It is quiet.
Is it afternoon? Through the
window I can only see the
still sky.
My view is that of a baby lying
on the floor. It is summer or
early autumn or late spring.
City? A big one. Maybe in the
Eighties. It could be Berlin,
East Berlin in the early
Eighties.
On the top floor. A room that
wasn’t, a room that
isn’t.
and on the inside I learned the book was written by Katarína Poliačiková and the title was SKIPPING SCHOOL, LEARNING THE FIRE OF THINGS
A shiver ran through me as I began turning the pages. It opens with a passage about ritual, and then Lisboa, mudlarking scraps of pottery and poetry from the banks, photographs perhaps from street markets, sundays and the noticing in transcendent perambulations. It was a feeling of attunement more than equivalence. A loosening of subjectivity, quantum-like, collapsing the modern scaffolding holding me. Had I drifted into some kind of slipstream, behind or beside?
I experience, without any sense of unusualness, intuitions that exceed—
Out the window a man with a small amber Pomeranian walks past a school age girl in a large white puffy jacket. She turns her head to watch and stops in place, transfixed on the golden creature as it recedes on the horizon. I once said to my BFF, my life partner, I would love to have a half dozen Pomeranians, and at the end of the day I could clap and they would all jump into bed with us. She paused for a minute and offered, ‘I think you may have been a child emperor in a past life’ and we laughed one of those laughs that you dissolve into, a complete loss of orientation.
I experience, without any sense of unusualness, intuitions that exceed my language to describe them or abilities to quantify or generalize them. By way of example, I found myself in the recently opened Ambedkar museum in London. As India Today reported it’s ‘set in the Primrose Hill area of London, which is home to many celebrities like British actor Daniel Craig and supermodel Kate Moss, Ambedkar House was the home of Dr. BR Ambedkar, architect of the Indian Constitution, between 1921 and 1922. The house was bought by the Maharashtra government for $3.65 million in 2015 to turn it into a museum.’
We became interested in Ambedkar since learning about him through Arundhati Roy.
We obtained a WhatsApp number for the person caring for the museum, a former embassy employee who had been assigned this post. When we arrived he showed us around a little and then returned to his computer where he was watching a video about climate change. The Modi administration had bought the house, with all the implications and incongruities that might imply. The aspects of his work that were foregrounded by the images and narratives displayed throughout the house seemed confusing in their assemblage, overly simplified to point of becoming almost apolitical.
I picked up a book from the massive collection of Ambedkar’s speeches and writings. The fifth volume I selected was shelved out of place and the page I opened to was from a chapter called Parallel Cases in a section called Roots of the Problem that looks for what Manthia Diawara calls solidarities of suffering among oppressed peoples. There are passages that include the histories of subjugation from both sides of my family and themes I have been thinking about recently. An attunement more than an equivalence.
The intuitions in excess of language I have to describe them is like a feeling of something guiding my hand to a book, arriving at a juncture that couldn’t feel any more fitting in that moment. The preternatural shimmering of objects and subjects in time.
My resonances are patchy with this enormous body of work. In the house that Ambedkar lived in during his time as a student that was bought by the Narenda Modi administration in the the Primrose Hill area of London, which is home to many celebrities like British actor Daniel Craig and supermodel Kate Moss. The list of speeches from the 17th volume give an indication of the range and tone. I emailed an online book seller in Nagpur called Budget Mantra and inquired about having a complete set sent to the house where I’m staying in London. I’m curious to see if I create a shelf or shrine with them, if they would function as a kind of I Ching for those data weary spiritual seekers in need of political grounding or something else.
Volume 17
(Part Three) Dr. B. R. Ambedkar and his Egalitarian Revolution – Speeches. Events starting from 1st January to 20th November 1956 in the chronological order are compiled in this volume.
Great Fight
The Value of a Man is Axiomatic, Self-Evident
We are a Warrior Clan
Send Right Type of men to Legislature
people Cemented by feeling of One Country, One Constitution, and One Destiny, take the risk of Being independent
Secure Constitutional Safeguards and Guarantees
Agitate much more, Organise Better than at Present
……otherwise Advanced Hindu castes would remain in power and rule the minorities.
Power an prestige will come to you through struggle
Future Generations of Hindus will appreciate my service
Keep before your eyes the struggle of Gautama Buddha and Ramanuja
Untouchables must have political power
I would not Budge an inch from my righteous cause
Political reform must precede social reform
Care more for material good than for spiritual food
Act and utilize the power coming into your Hands
Abandon the thought of Slavery
Do not believe in fate, believe in your strength
they alone rise who strive
Do not depend upon god or superman
I will wrest as much power for the country as possible
Find men who will promote your interests
Unfortunately I was born a Hindu untouchable but I will not die a Hindu.
My ability and eminence were the fruit of my patient labour and intellect
Go anywhere, we have to fight for our welfare
Decided to renounce Hinduism
I cannot sacrifice my conscience for success
Conversion is necessary for your Emancipation and Advancement
What way emancipation?
…….there will be no distinction between the Mahars and the Mangs.
You must give up your disgraceful profession.
Do not become a victim to any conspiracy.
We cannot allow our grievances to continue
There are no depressed class ministers
Do not worship God in Hindu religion.
Communist exploited the labourers.
Be on the guard against exploiters
Self-respect and self-help movement has nothing to lose but everything to gain
Christians lagged behind politically
Work for uplift of untouchables
Democracy must give Respectful hearing to all who are worth listening to
Peasants and worker should think over the causes of their poverty.
Guard the interests of the depressed classes.
Trade union must enter politics to protect their interests
Educated man without character and Humanity is more dangerous than a beast
Untouchables have to strive themselves
Lead decent life
Government did not care depressed classes
Need for united political organization to fight common opponent foreign imperialism
Send grievances to me
Be men of sterling character
What is the goal of India’s political evolution?
Gandhi prepared to accept federation in whatever form
Save your children from harrowing life
I worked for benefit of whole community not for a particular section
Taxes must be utilized for farmers
Mahar Watan is heartless exploitation
Government has done nothing for depressed classes
Hindus responsible for sin of untouchability
Regain past position in Army
Safeguards under Government of India Act and Poona Act are inadequate
Hindu society must organize on modern lines breaking down its Age-long framework
Gandhi’s efforts are inadequate
Without strenuous efforts our social position might get even worse
You have not realised what tremendous power you have
Watandari, a curse to Mahars
Remarkable change under gone….
Educated persons should join Military
I shall lay down my life in Defence of our land
Your salvation must lie in your own hands
The doors of my house would always remain open to friends
Struggle of lowest Strata of society is bound to help all sections of working class
If the Bottom-most Stone is shifted those above are to be shaken
If Democracy dies it will be our Doom
Educate, Agitate, Organize, Have faith and lose no hope
Progress for the community is measured by progress of women
I make distinction between Ahimsa and Meekness
I will stand by you
I yield to none in my desire for the freedom of this country
I want the reins of Government in your hands
Present disorders Harming only Indians
Non-Brahmin party should rebuild itself
Join Army, Navy and Air Forces
Gandhi and Jinnah should retire
Poverty will not be tolerated in post-war period
Swaraj could be in hands of Labour
Qualify for enjoying the rights
Scheduled caste must Discard Hinduism
“Now or Never” is the question before scheduled castes
Depressed classes are not a part of Hindu community
I am no opponent of Nationalism But…….
Unity is of Supreme Importance
I was far ahead of…… Patriots of India
Indian History is nothing but struggle between Buddhism and Brahmanism
Gandhi was contented with provincial Autonomy
We are the makers of the Destiny of this country
Students should see that Degree carries positive knowledge
Lay the foundation for a Regime of prosperity for the poverty-stricken millions of the country
News paper in a modern Democratic system is Fundamental basis of good Government
Scheduled castes must organize
There should be statutory Commission for Aboriginal Tribes
No Dispute over India’s goal of freedom
Make deliberate attempt to make man politically conscious
Action by Government in August 1942 was justifiable
Gandhiji declined
Scheduled Castes demands be referred to an impartial International Tribunal
Depressed Classes neglected
The Scheduled Castes had been left where they were
I have Loyalty to our people also to this country
The minority must always be won over, it must never be dictated to
Art of public speaking could be developed
Because of Divine law of Manu or Yajnavalkya, Hindu society was never able to repair itself
Organise under one leader, one party, one programme
Progress of a community always depends upon Education
The Hindu code was a right step towards a civil code
We should ensure that India is not enslaved again
Maharashtrians are more sincere, more duty conscious to the nation
Religion no longer be inherited but be examined Rationally by everybody
Non-Believers should be converted to the Eight-Fold Path
Buddhism paved way for Democracy and Socialistic pattern of society
I shall devote rest of my life to the revival and spread of Buddhism
The Bill was aimed at the Social advancement of Women
The Scheduled Castes should give up political Aloofness
I am like a rock which does not melt but turns the course of rivers
Failure of parliamentary Democracy will result in Rebellion, Anarchy and Communism
If our true representatives are not elected, independence will be a farce
Poor people must unite separately to achieve their purpose
…….Let us save our Kith and Kin
Why I did not resign earlier?
Federation will not give up its Separate political Entity
The Hindu Code bill would improve condition of women
It is bad for people to remain idle and indifferent
Purity of Administration is necessary for Welfare of the people
Alliance to Appose
I always have the interest of the country at heart
All my attention is concentrated on Building of Hall for federation
Recognise University Education to meet the Requirements of the Modern World
Conditions precedent for the successful working of Democracy
Knowledge is the Foundation of Man’s life
Women leaders are not interested in the Social Progress of Women
……. I shall take Stern measures
Osmania University Honoured Dr. B. R. Ambedkar
If Buddhist Gospel is not adopted History of conflict in Europe, will repeat in Asia
…….the so called Upper classes will be wiped out of Existence
Unless Casteless and Classless Society is created, there will be no Progress in India
Don’t get misled by Criticism
Politics is not the Be-All and End-All of the Nation’s Life
We will carry on All India Land Satyagraha even against Central Government
It is the criminal to collect Money in the name of Religion and waste it
My Philosophy of life
I am a devotee of Gautam Buddha, Kabir, Mahatma Phule and Worshipper of Learning, Self-Respect and Character
Buddhist movement in India : A Blue Print
Pandurang was none other than Buddha
There is difference between the Ahimsa Preached by Buddhism and Jainism
Why I like Buddhism
The Tide of Buddhism would never Recede in India
Prospect of Democracy in India
The Buddha Dhamma will be the saviour of the world
Buddha or Karl Marx
Appendix I : Gandhiji’s article on Dr. B. R. Ambedkar’s proclamation of conversion
Appendix II : Constitution of the Samata Sainik Dal
Appendix II : An Out spoken Utterancee
